Is My Husband in Love With Me?

Joy, a 34-year-old woman, is married to David. They met in the church in Abuja and it was love at first sight. They were eager to get married because they wanted to be intimate with each other.

After the wedding ceremony, they went on their honeymoon and it was explosive. They were too busy enjoying the benefits of marriage; according to her, making love to someone is one of the best feelings in life. I was happy for her.
When they returned, David’s desire for her was so much that she complained he was chasing her around the house for sex. In fact, there were nights when she would pray, “God please don’t let him remember me tonight.” 
A few months after their wedding, Joy got pregnant and she gave birth to their son, David Jnr. That was when everything changed.
According to Joy, David is no longer interested in her sexually. He does not kiss her anymore; the last time they kissed was a year ago. She says he comes back from work, has his dinner and goes straight to sleep. She does not know what the problem is. Even when she dresses up and puts on make-up, he does not pay any attention, neither does notice when she has a new hairstyle.
She now tries to initiate sex, but the few times she has succeeded, he just goes straight for penetration, no foreplay, nothing. Most times, he is unable to get it up at all. Joy is bored and depressed. She says they are still best friends, but there’s no sex or passion anymore.
How can she handle this as a Christian woman, since it would be wrong for her to fantasize about other men to gain any satisfaction? It doesn’t help that the men she sees on Telemundo are passionate and romantic; can David not at least try?
People of God, how would you advise Joy?



7 thoughts on “Is My Husband in Love With Me?

  1. If they're still best friends then cool. They should talk about it. Not fight, just gist. Like “Na wa o, these days sef you no de look my side. I remember when you de pursue me like say I be federal government contract”. If they're really best friends it will start as a joke then graduate into a serious sincere discussion. Then they'll know how to work things from there. She should be ready to change too… Cos the discussion will definitely uncover some things. God bless their home, Amen.


  2. I agree with Olayinka. Discussion is the way forward. Communication is very important in marriage. David should say what the issue is, and they should find a solution together. Rome was not built in a day, every problem/challenge has a solution. Communicate, communicate, communicate!


  3. Be careful what u wish for cos you just might get it. As she has spoken to God's ears, He heard her. My 2kobo, let her first of all go back to God and admit that she is sorry and then ask God to restore the passion her husband once had. Also she needs to speak with her hubby and sincerely apologise for those moments he rejected and ignored him and then make conscious effort tru prayers and works to win her man back


  4. Discussion can bring the real issue out in the open. Has she lost her shape? Is she too fat now? Is she smelling of breast milk? Is he still smarting from the pain of her previous rejection? Has he withdrawn/closed his mind due to her lack of enthusiasm/complaints/dodging sex? These are various reasons I have seen for this kind of situation. Without communication the real problem will not be made known, so the solution cannot be found.


  5. They need to communicate about the issue and also seek a therapist to help them rekindle their love/sex life. I hope the man isn't having an affair. The woman needs to unpray that pray she had prayed before. It is hard work and she must be ready to do it. It's a phase which will surely be over if they work together. She must not be too hard on herself or the husband.

    For sex therapy counseling contact wunmi omololu. (


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