Joy, a 34-year-old woman, is married to David. They met in the church in Abuja and it was love at first sight. They were eager to get married because they wanted to be intimate with each other.
After the wedding ceremony, they went on their honeymoon and it was explosive. They were too busy enjoying the benefits of marriage; according to her, making love to someone is one of the best feelings in life. I was happy for her.
When they returned, David’s desire for her was so much that she complained he was chasing her around the house for sex. In fact, there were nights when she would pray, “God please don’t let him remember me tonight.”
A few months after their wedding, Joy got pregnant and she gave birth to their son, David Jnr. That was when everything changed.
According to Joy, David is no longer interested in her sexually. He does not kiss her anymore; the last time they kissed was a year ago. She says he comes back from work, has his dinner and goes straight to sleep. She does not know what the problem is. Even when she dresses up and puts on make-up, he does not pay any attention, neither does notice when she has a new hairstyle.
She now tries to initiate sex, but the few times she has succeeded, he just goes straight for penetration, no foreplay, nothing. Most times, he is unable to get it up at all. Joy is bored and depressed. She says they are still best friends, but there’s no sex or passion anymore.
How can she handle this as a Christian woman, since it would be wrong for her to fantasize about other men to gain any satisfaction? It doesn’t help that the men she sees on Telemundo are passionate and romantic; can David not at least try?
People of God, how would you advise Joy?