Who Should I Marry?

Confused Black Man

I am a 37-year-old man. I met Amaka during our church’s annual convention two years ago. This girl is incredibly beautiful; she is everything I want in a woman. From her figure and complexion to her composure…she’s perfect front and back, a girl I can take home to mama. Luckily for me, one of my friends from our Lagos church was talking to her, so I took the opportunity to get introduced to her. We talked for about 5 minutes and that was it. I started looking for ways to be around her all the time, throughout the convention.

Before the convention ended, I got her number, so I started calling her, sending her gifts and leaving messages for her on social media. I made her friends my friends on Facebook, and there was not a single day that Amaka was not on my mind. I started sending her love messages, telling her how I felt about her. The first time I expressed my feelings, it took her two days and 4 hours to reply; I was waiting anxiously as you can imagine. She called me and we fixed a date for that evening after church.

I prepared eagerly for the date and while we were having dinner she told me that she appreciated all the affection and attention from me but that she just came out of a relationship and she needed time to heal. To me, that was the worst response imaginable, but it did not stop me. When I found out that she had started dating someone at some point but they had to break up because they were both AS, I made sure she knew I was AA, confirmed. I kept calling, messaging and loving. Soon it became clear that while I was madly in love it her, she did not love me, because she called me one day and asked me to stop; she said all the attention was beginning to embarrass her.

Before I met Amaka, there was actually someone in my life. I have known Funke for years and while to her we are dating, to me we’re just friends with benefits. Funke wan use love kill me. There is nothing this girl has not done and will not do for me. I have free access to her body any time. She uses her own money to cook and keep in my freezer for me every week. When I wanted to buy my car, she added 500k for me without my asking so I could get a better car and said I could pay her whenever I wanted to. When I was ill, she took time off work to stay with me in the hospital and made my family members her best friends – and they all love her.

Honestly, Funke is too good to me. She’s loving, respectful, kind, meek, everything! It’s just sad that I do not love her. She has a nice figure but her face is ugly. She is not someone I would be proud to introduce publicly as my woman. Even when I’m sleeping with her, I avoid looking at her face. Several times she has begged with tears for us to get married, and at a point I was considering it, but that was before I met Amaka. I cannot meet Amaka and marry someone else.

What do I do? I need to get married. Do I marry Funke because she loves me so much, or do I continue chasing Amaka, the one I love? Please advise me.

 

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Should I Talk?

confused-manOsazee and Ozi have been friends since they were 5 years old. They grew up together, and went to the same primary and secondary school just because they wanted to remain together. When it was time for University however, Osazee went to school in Germany and Ozi went to the University of Benin.

While they were in school, Osazee had a part-time job and often sent money to Ozi in Nigeria; even when Ozi’s mother was ill he sent money for her treatment. The families of both boys became one because of their friendship, as they were like brothers from different mothers. They were even born on June 16 of the same year! After graduation, Osazee was doing well in Germany, and he built a big house in Benin City, a project which Ozi supervised.

Osazee eventually decided to come home to get married, and on hearing this, his aunty introduced him to a young lady, Ameze, with whom he began to communicate on phone and via email. They exchanged pictures and pretty soon they were talking every single day. Romance was in the air.

Unknown to Osazee, Ameze used to be a “runs girl”. She had had countless aristos; in fact, there was no big man in Benin City that she had not serviced. Her parents had four daughters and that was what they all did for a living. With their earnings from numerous aristos, they had built a house for their parents. Now that Ameze had found a wealthy husband, the family was excited; they had hit the jackpot and would be settled for life. Osazee even sent a car to Ameze’s father.

Ozi and Ameze had lived on the same street for many years, and he was well aware of what she did for a living. Several times he had seen women come to beat Ameze up for sleeping with their husbands. Ozi even suspected that she may have slept with his father. Rumour had it that one of Ameze’s abortions had necessitated the removal of her womb.

Given all this, all the time Osazee had been going on and on about his new girlfriend Ameze with whom he was madly in love, it never for one moment crossed Ozi’s mind that it was the same Ameze.

When Osazee returned to Nigeria to begin preparations for marriage, he went to visit Ozi who now lived in GRA, and he took Ameze along with him; the love of his life and his best friend had to be introduced.

Ozi was totally shocked to see her! This Ameze? No, it couldn’t be!

Ameze on the other hand feigned excitement. “Is this your best friend? He’s my brother o,” she said, giving Ozi a hug.

Osazee was thrilled at the perfection of the situation. They spent the day together, and when evening came Osazee called a cab to take Ameze home. Finally alone together, Osazee turned to his friend. “So, what do you think of her?” he asked with a wide grin. “What about her family?”

Osazee managed to mumble a few words about them being “okay”, and although Osazee thought his lack of enthusiasm was strange, he did not suspect anything.

It’s been over a week and he keeps asking Ozi for details about “his sister Ameze” and her family. Ozi is aware that this is the best thing that has ever happened to Ameze and her family. Should he tell Osazee the truth or keep quiet?

How would you advise Ozi?

 

Big Mistake: What Do I Do?

tearful lady

Uche has been married to Obinna for four years and they have been trusting God for the fruit of the womb. She had visited many hospitals, but nothing seemed to be wrong.

One day, a friend told her about a very good gynaecologist that she should see, so she booked an appointment and went to see him. As she opened the consulting room door, she noticed a very good-looking doctor sitting in the office. She introduced herself and they greeted. After she explained her situation, he said he wanted to examine her and asked her to take off her panties so he could insert his fingers in her vagina.

Uche did not understand. “What?” she gasped. There’s no way I can allow this very fine man touch me there.

“Is there no female doctor around?” she asked.

He smiled at her. “Don’t worry; I have seen thousands of vaginas. It makes no difference to me — I was trained to do this.

Suddenly, Uche felt comfortable and took off her underwear. Afterwards he recommended some tests, and when the results came out, he prescribed some drugs and asked her to return in six weeks. They exchanged numbers, and she left.

Over the weeks, they developed a friendship. At first they just exchanged text messages and social media inbox chats, but they soon progressed to phone calls. Even as they spoke on phone every day, Uche kept telling herself that they were just friends and that the relationship was harmless.

Six weeks passed quickly and it was soon time for her second medical appointment. On the Friday Uche was supposed to go to the hospital, she had a lot to do and before she finished, it was almost 7pm. She called him to ask if she could still come in at that time, and he said she could; he was waiting. She arrived, and as soon as the medical consultation was over, they started gisting. Before Uche knew what was happening, one thing led to another and they were kissing. Soon, their clothes were off and he quickly locked the door.

Things progressed fast and Uche noticed he was not protected. When she expressed concern, he told her he would give her a drug to take afterwards. Uche knew that what they were doing was wrong, but she wanted to enjoy it; she found him simply irresistible. When it was all over, he gave her the drug. On her way home, Uche quickly asked for forgiveness.

As soon as she stepped into her home, she found Obinna waiting for her, his eyes full of desire. She could barely manage to take a bath before he pounced on her. After their lovemaking session, Uche was reluctant to take the drug. What if their lovemaking bore fruit? What if this was her chance to give her husband the child he so desperately wanted?

She didn’t have to wait long. When she missed her period three weeks later, her husband took her for a pregnancy test himself. The test came out positive! Obinna and Uche were both excited, but she couldn’t shake the thought that the baby might be her gynaecologist’s. She made up her mind to cut him off and never see him again.

Before her due date, she travelled to the United States, gave birth, and returned to Nigeria with her baby. Life was good!

One fateful day six months later, she was at a shopping mall with her baby when she ran into the gynaecologist. She greeted him stiffly, trying to prevent an awkward conversation after her long disappearance; she had ignored his texts and calls from the day she found out she was pregnant. However, he didn’t appear in a hurry to leave. All the while, he kept looking at her baby.

When he finally left and got into his car, he sent her a message: “I think he is mine.”

Uche’s worst nightmare had just happened. What would the gynaecologist do now? Would he come to claim the child? He was married with two daughters but there was a possibility he would push for DNA testing because he wanted a son. What should she do? Should she tell her husband? Should she have a DNA test done to assure herself of the child’s paternity?