Who Should I Marry?

Confused Black Man

I am a 37-year-old man. I met Amaka during our church’s annual convention two years ago. This girl is incredibly beautiful; she is everything I want in a woman. From her figure and complexion to her composure…she’s perfect front and back, a girl I can take home to mama. Luckily for me, one of my friends from our Lagos church was talking to her, so I took the opportunity to get introduced to her. We talked for about 5 minutes and that was it. I started looking for ways to be around her all the time, throughout the convention.

Before the convention ended, I got her number, so I started calling her, sending her gifts and leaving messages for her on social media. I made her friends my friends on Facebook, and there was not a single day that Amaka was not on my mind. I started sending her love messages, telling her how I felt about her. The first time I expressed my feelings, it took her two days and 4 hours to reply; I was waiting anxiously as you can imagine. She called me and we fixed a date for that evening after church.

I prepared eagerly for the date and while we were having dinner she told me that she appreciated all the affection and attention from me but that she just came out of a relationship and she needed time to heal. To me, that was the worst response imaginable, but it did not stop me. When I found out that she had started dating someone at some point but they had to break up because they were both AS, I made sure she knew I was AA, confirmed. I kept calling, messaging and loving. Soon it became clear that while I was madly in love it her, she did not love me, because she called me one day and asked me to stop; she said all the attention was beginning to embarrass her.

Before I met Amaka, there was actually someone in my life. I have known Funke for years and while to her we are dating, to me we’re just friends with benefits. Funke wan use love kill me. There is nothing this girl has not done and will not do for me. I have free access to her body any time. She uses her own money to cook and keep in my freezer for me every week. When I wanted to buy my car, she added 500k for me without my asking so I could get a better car and said I could pay her whenever I wanted to. When I was ill, she took time off work to stay with me in the hospital and made my family members her best friends – and they all love her.

Honestly, Funke is too good to me. She’s loving, respectful, kind, meek, everything! It’s just sad that I do not love her. She has a nice figure but her face is ugly. She is not someone I would be proud to introduce publicly as my woman. Even when I’m sleeping with her, I avoid looking at her face. Several times she has begged with tears for us to get married, and at a point I was considering it, but that was before I met Amaka. I cannot meet Amaka and marry someone else.

What do I do? I need to get married. Do I marry Funke because she loves me so much, or do I continue chasing Amaka, the one I love? Please advise me.



9 thoughts on “Who Should I Marry?

  1. You need repent and focus on God. You’re being so carnal with your decisions and that can’t help. His love and truth will guide you to make the best choice for your life here on earth and eternally. I think Funke deserves better from you and she deserves to give herself the best by letting you go. Sleeping with both girls wouldn’t show you who to marry. Lusting over Amaka wouldn’t help. You focused on the things you shouldn’t be focusing on. Get your eyes back on Jesus and He will guide you.


  2. Bros, are you ok? Person wan use love kill you and you still dey ask jamb question. It’s really simple, beautiful would fade, figure would slack but love would keep you going. Maybe you want to marry so you can advertise to people that your wife is fine and then your home is suffering, don’t be surprised that the Amaka girl might not even know how to take care of a home or even do that thing well well sef. Oga, if a bea is loyal, marry her.


  3. Chai! See finish
    Bros…u never ready to marry
    Let me tell u a story I once read. There was this stunning girl who was in an accident and her face was damaged. As in badly. All d toasters ran away.
    Poster, would you stick by Amaka if someone used acid to spoil her face? If u wont endure her attitude without d face…face ya front
    As for Funke, no even marry am. She will recover from d heartbreak n move on
    Abeg post your picture make we see sef. Hope say u fine as u dey choose upandan


  4. Sigh. Funke is not wise. Don’t be like Funke. The bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. The woman doesn’t chase. I’ve chased before and it ended in disaster. She deserves better. A man that uses your body and your money does not value you. At all. If Amaka tells him she wants to wait till marriage to have sex, he will agree. Marry a man that loves you, not the other way around. Don’t beg for attention. Dint belittle yourself. You are worth so much more. If he married you and Amaka decides she’s interested, he will drop you like a hot potato as quickly as he can. If you don’t have his heart, you have nothing. As for the man, shame on you.


  5. I’m not a man chaser. I will never support what Funke is doing.

    You need seat down and find out what you need to make a successful marriage.

    Decide based on that fact. For a guy, if you’re not attracted to a woman physically you will just show her.


  6. Lol. This is why I say love isn’t feelings faa. Cos many times body will pepper you in a direction that’s both ungodly and unwise. Use your head bro. I’m not surprised tho. You speak of fornication like its what you’re supposed to be doing makes it obvious you’re not a christian. Toh, I think that’s more important because 10000 years from now when you’ve been burning in hell you won’t give a care who you married here. That’s way more important. On the plus side also, after having an encounter with Jesus and receiving the holy spirit he will work in and with you to renew your mind so you can see what’s the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. God promises that in Romans 12-2. Look for an NKJV and AMPLIFIED, its really cool the way it is explained there.
    Alright, so do become born again. Wife is not your problem sir, not even close. Accepting the salvation of your soul is. God bless you


  7. I love every comment here… I believe in exactly what the first reply from Linda says. Retrace your steps back to God and seek his face concerning your partner, for all you know neither of them may be the one for you..as for Funke… I agree she should do herself a favour and leave this relationship. Because as Tessadoghor rightly said… If you are not physically attracted to her… Then……


  8. The carnal man cannot please God, neither can the carnal man make the right decisions. The carnal man cannot live his life in accordance with the will of God.

    The definition of a carnal man is a man who does everything that his flesh wants. He wants instant gratification and satisfaction, applauds the honour of man, and covets good things he sees.

    The decision of who to marry is a lifelong covenant and should not be based on carnality. If one takes a decision with the physical eyes, the scope of view is very limited, but where one takes a decision through the Spirit of God, it is an all-round decision.

    The decision of who to marry should not be based on looks, emotional/physical attraction, tribe, shape, or colour. It is my conviction that the decision of who to marry should be prayerfully taken with the help of the Holy Spirit.

    Marriage can destroy or make a person, so it is expedient to ask God for help.


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