What Do You Do When Your Soul Mate Is…?

Soulmate

Ejiro was among the first to get on board the Dana Air flight going from Abuja to Lagos. She had attended a high school friend’s wedding in Abuja and was now on her way back to Lagos.

She was seated comfortably when she noticed a good-looking guy in a white shirt and black trousers approaching her seat. He noticed she was staring, so she quickly averted her eyes. As he sat next to her and introduced himself as Chris, she could not but notice his baritone and his face; he was definitely her kind of guy. Ejiro quickly did the ring check and thanked God he wasn’t married. He could be the one, she thought, so she decided to respond in a friendly manner, and drop a few signals of interest. The two could not stop talking until they arrived in Lagos. Neither of them could deny the strong chemistry they shared.

It was Monday morning and Ejiro was going straight to the office from the airport, so they took the same cab and he dropped her off at the branch of the bank where she worked after they exchanged numbers. At about 6pm, he gave her a call and said he was standing in front of her office. He took her out on their very first date, and she was pleased and impressed to find that he earned a very good income, and he was well travelled.

They went on date after date, and he shared his heart with her. He told her that he had never felt this way about any woman, and that he could not imagine living without her. He laughed when he saw her 2007 Toyota Corolla, and called it an embarrassment. On her birthday, he showed up at her office and gave her the keys to a brand new Hyundai(IX35) 2015. The entire bank went bunkers, and a close colleague drew her close and whispered, “This one is for keeps!”

Chris and Ejiro were madly in love. The only thing that bothered Ejiro was that Chris did not have a decent home despite earning a good income. When she mentioned it, he said it was because he was a bachelor. One day, she realised that her number on his phone was saved as Mr. Ejiro Sandals. When she assked him about it, he deleted the number and did not save it with any name.

One Saturday evening, Chris and Ejiro were at a supermarket and he ran into a friend.

“Chris! How are Toyin and the kids?” the friend asked.

“They’re fine,” Chris replied.

When they got into the car, Ejiro asked who Toyin was.

“Toyin is my sister,” Chris said, forgetting that he had told her his life history.

“That’s a lie!” Ejiro said. “You are from Benue State, so how can your sister be Toyin?”

Chris would not tell Ejiro the truth despite her incessant probing, so she decided to search on social media. She entered Chris’s surname together with “Toyin.” Behold, Chris was married to Toyin and they had two kids. Ejiro felt as if she would die. This is a man who professed undying love for me! How could he?

When confronted, Chris went down on his knees weeping profusely.

“The marriage is over; it ended a long time ago. I don’t love her,” he said between sobs. “I was not in my right mind when I married her, she used jazz on me.”

“Are you legally divorced?”Ejiro asked.

“No, but I hardly sleep in that house,” Chris said, tears still running down his face. “She has refused to let go all these years, otherwise we would have gotten the divorce long ago. The last time we had sex was 4 years ago. I’m talking to my lawyer; the divorce proceedings will soon commence. ”

The following week, Toyin came to look for Ejiro at her office.

“Why are you being selfish? Why do you want to break up my home?” Toyin asked bitterly.

“Why are you being selfish? Why are you holding on to a man who doesn’t want to be with you?”

Ejiro did not know what to do. She believes Chris’ marriage is over and she knows he has made up his mind to divorce Toyin. Leaving him won’t make him stay with Toyin, who he believes used jazz on him. If she doesn’t marry Chris, he will likely go ahead to marry someone else.

Should Ejiro give up the love of her life because he is still married and people will say she married someone without considering his two children, or because of office gossip?

Please advise her.

 

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A Promiscuous Good Girl

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Mrs. Oby Aduradu is a 64-year-old widow who lives in Asaba. Her 3 sons are all grown up and work in Lagos. She has become a lonely woman since the death of her husband some years ago, and her boys have refused to marry and give her grandchildren, each claiming he has not found the right woman yet.

Ngozi, a pretty corps member (NYSC)* posted to Asaba lived close to Mrs. Aduradu, and she never failed to greet her every morning on her way to work. Ngozi always asked if the older woman had eaten and taken her medication. After work, she would stop by to help her clean her house, and then she would take her clothes to her house, wash them and iron them. Ngozi didn’t know Mrs. Aduradu from Adam; she was just being her usual loving and caring self. She would even cook for the woman, who had to confess that the young lady was a very good cook! She commented several times on the fact that she was well brought up and traditional.

Mrs. Aduradu was already eyeing her for one of her sons if they would be open to it — young men these days liked to make their own choices based on the things they wanted.

One Saturday evening Mrs. Aduradu, after taking her evening walk, collapsed outside. Ngozi was in her house at the time, and quickly took her to the hospital. She was by her bedside nursing her when her sons arrived.

Three of them took a liking to Ngozi, but the chemistry between her and the 2nd son Aka was very strong, and Mrs. Aduradu was excited to observe it, recovering almost immediately as a result. From that time, Aka visited home more often and each time he was around, he would spend long hours talking with Ngozi. Soon, they were unable to resist each other, and found themselves in bed. Shortly after that encounter, Aka returned to Lagos and 5 weeks later Ngozi called him to say she was pregnant. Mrs. Aduradu of course insisted that they get married immediately, because Ngozi had been good to her and she could not repay her with evil.

The wedding was arranged sharp sharp and Ngozi moved to Lagos with her husband. She was the perfect wife: good, respectful, kind, easy going. She was also very domesticated, and Aka could not fault her in bed. She was good all round. Aka noticed that she could be insecure around men and this usually resulted in her talking too much and giving them extra attention, which he worried may be misunderstood. Regardless, he was very much in love with his wife and considered her the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Aka’s world came crashing when, 4 months after Ngozi put to bed, she knelt before her him, confessing that he was not the father of the child, and begging for his forgiveness. Aka thought he would die. To make things worse, Ngozi said the child’s father wanted to claim his son. Desperate, Aka requested a DNA test. The results showed that Aka was not the father of the child, but in a surprising twist, the child did not belong to the man trying to claim him either!

It soon became clear that Ngozi did not know the father of her child, and the matter became even more serious. She called 3 other men who could be responsible, to take the test, and Aka discovered that Ngozi could sleep with a man out of gratitude, out of a desire to be liked, or even to keep him from getting angry with her.

It’s all too much for Aka to take in, and he wants to divorce her. However, Ngozi is a wonderful, loving person and a part of him wants to help her. Aka has several questions in his mind:

  1. Can she be helped?
  2. Should he stay with his loving wife who is so promiscuous that she could sleep with anybody who said hello to her? A wife he cannot leave at home to go on a work trip without fear?
  3. As far as he knows, she has not been unfaithful to him since they married. Nobody has said they slept with her as his wife, but if they had would they tell him?
  4. Could it be that she has stopped or will stop sleeping around now that she has a man to call her own?

What should Aka do now? Please advise him.

 

 

*NYSC is the National Youth Service Corps, a mandatory one-year programme for all Nigerian graduates to serve the nation.

Who Are You Following?

Follow the Leader

One day, my husband and I were going home in terrible traffic. We knew there was a shortcut around that place but we did not know the way. However, when we noticed people diverting from the main road, we figured that they were taking the shortcut so we decided to follow them.

There was a man in a black jeep in front of us, who seemed to know the way, so we followed him closely, happy to cut off the slow-moving traffic. When he turned right, we turned right, and when he turned left, we turned left.

We continued to follow the jeep until it turned and stopped at the gate of a big blue house and we heard the horn. That was when we realised he had been going to his house and we were following him thinking he was by-passing traffic to return to the main road.

The moral of the story: if you are following any leader, make sure they are going in the direction you are headed. You need to know where you are going so that if your leader is not going your way, you can make a U-turn as we did, and get back on the path that will lead you to your destination.

 

Coincidence or Something Else?

what should I do?

What should I do?

Ayomide is a 24-year-old man who lives with his parents and works with one of the new generation banks. The only child of his parents, the family of three seems to be perfect, but there is something always on Ayomide’s mind, and it has grown into a serious concern. In fact, no day passes that Ayo doesn’t think about it.

Ayomide does not look like his father. He bears no resemblance to his father whatsoever, not even in mannerisms, neither does he resemble his mother. In fact, he often wonders how a tall, dark woman could have given birth to a short, very light-skinned man like himself. Even more worrisome is the facts that Ayomide is a carbon copy of their neighbour, Mr. Oladele. The resemblance between the two is so strong that it is difficult to convince a stranger that Ayomide and the Oladele children are not siblings.

Both families have been friends for years, and there have been many comments about the resemblance between Ayomide and Mr. Oladele , even in the hearing of Ayomide’s parents who always just laugh it off. When he tries to bring it up with his mother, she tells him that God made two of each body in the world.

Ayomide is not convinced, and as the days go by it weighs more and more on his mind. How does he go about settling this issue?

Toke’s Tight Corner

Love Eyes

Toke is 29 years old and the last of six children from a well-respected family. Well-read and well bred, she obtained her first degree from Plymouth University, and her master’s in economics from the University of Aberdeen, after which she returned to Nigeria for NYSC.

Toke was born with a deformity — a bent leg and hand — and is a little on the big side. While her five siblings are all married, in all her 29 years no man has ever as much as said “hello” to her, much less asked her out on a date.

During her NYSC year, her father’s mechanic Akin came to the house to fix their car, and when Toke came out to give him the keys, they started talking. He asked if he could take her out that evening, and she said yes. So he took her to a local bar where he introduced her to his friends. Toke couldn’t quite fit in because they spoke mostly Yoruba and very poor English, whereas she wasn’t fluent in Yoruba. Still, they managed to have a good time and when the evening ended, Akin paid for the drinks and they started talking. As they talked, she perceived his mouth and body odour, but decided to ignore it because this was the first man to ever show interest in her.

Soon they were seeing each other every day. After a few weeks, she decided to spend a weekend at Akin’s house. She told her parents she was going to spend the weekend with a girlfriend of hers. That weekend turned out to be the best weekend of Toke’s life. Akin made love to her and she loved very moment of it. In fact, it was fantastic, beyond anything she could ever have imagined. She had no sexual experience before that day, apart from touching herself in the privacy of her bedroom.

They talked and made love all weekend, and they didn’t want Sunday to end. Toke felt totally comfortable with Akin. They shared intimate stories about their lives, and when Toke told Akin how her condition made her feel, he made her understand that she was beautiful the way she was.

A few months later, Toke finds out she is pregnant. Her parents and siblings are happy about the development, and her father asks her to bring her husband-to-be home. This is where the problem begins. On finding out that it was his mechanic Akin who had impregnated his daughter Toke, the old man nearly had a heart attack. He not only gave Akin a dirty slap and walked him out of the house, he went a step further to harass Akin’s family and have him arrested.

Toke lost her pregnancy due to the stress, and the pain nearly killed her. She did not have a job and so she could not stand on her own, and this hurt her deeply.  Her hatred for her father grew by the day. All efforts by her mother to make her see that they were just looking out for her were futile, and countless times she contemplated suicide.

Suddenly, luck smiled on Toke. An auditing company in the UK where she had applied for a job called her and offered her the position, with fantastic remuneration.

Right now, she is not sure what to do. Should she go to London and take Akin along with her? Her eldest sister, the only sibling she has on her side, thinks it is too risky. She is considering going to start work and then afterwards inviting Akin afterwards. Her only other options are to forfeit the job, move in with Akin’s family in their face-me-I-face-you house and find another job, or elope with him to another town. The former would mean her father coming to Akin’s house to cause more trouble.

She feels there’s no guarantee that a long distance relationship with her in London and Akin in Nigeria would work, since even people with two hands and two legs find it difficult.

This is the first and only love Toke has ever known. What should she do? Please advise her.