What Do You Do When Your Soul Mate Is…?


Ejiro was among the first to get on board the Dana Air flight going from Abuja to Lagos. She had attended a high school friend’s wedding in Abuja and was now on her way back to Lagos.

She was seated comfortably when she noticed a good-looking guy in a white shirt and black trousers approaching her seat. He noticed she was staring, so she quickly averted her eyes. As he sat next to her and introduced himself as Chris, she could not but notice his baritone and his face; he was definitely her kind of guy. Ejiro quickly did the ring check and thanked God he wasn’t married. He could be the one, she thought, so she decided to respond in a friendly manner, and drop a few signals of interest. The two could not stop talking until they arrived in Lagos. Neither of them could deny the strong chemistry they shared.

It was Monday morning and Ejiro was going straight to the office from the airport, so they took the same cab and he dropped her off at the branch of the bank where she worked after they exchanged numbers. At about 6pm, he gave her a call and said he was standing in front of her office. He took her out on their very first date, and she was pleased and impressed to find that he earned a very good income, and he was well travelled.

They went on date after date, and he shared his heart with her. He told her that he had never felt this way about any woman, and that he could not imagine living without her. He laughed when he saw her 2007 Toyota Corolla, and called it an embarrassment. On her birthday, he showed up at her office and gave her the keys to a brand new Hyundai(IX35) 2015. The entire bank went bunkers, and a close colleague drew her close and whispered, “This one is for keeps!”

Chris and Ejiro were madly in love. The only thing that bothered Ejiro was that Chris did not have a decent home despite earning a good income. When she mentioned it, he said it was because he was a bachelor. One day, she realised that her number on his phone was saved as Mr. Ejiro Sandals. When she assked him about it, he deleted the number and did not save it with any name.

One Saturday evening, Chris and Ejiro were at a supermarket and he ran into a friend.

“Chris! How are Toyin and the kids?” the friend asked.

“They’re fine,” Chris replied.

When they got into the car, Ejiro asked who Toyin was.

“Toyin is my sister,” Chris said, forgetting that he had told her his life history.

“That’s a lie!” Ejiro said. “You are from Benue State, so how can your sister be Toyin?”

Chris would not tell Ejiro the truth despite her incessant probing, so she decided to search on social media. She entered Chris’s surname together with “Toyin.” Behold, Chris was married to Toyin and they had two kids. Ejiro felt as if she would die. This is a man who professed undying love for me! How could he?

When confronted, Chris went down on his knees weeping profusely.

“The marriage is over; it ended a long time ago. I don’t love her,” he said between sobs. “I was not in my right mind when I married her, she used jazz on me.”

“Are you legally divorced?”Ejiro asked.

“No, but I hardly sleep in that house,” Chris said, tears still running down his face. “She has refused to let go all these years, otherwise we would have gotten the divorce long ago. The last time we had sex was 4 years ago. I’m talking to my lawyer; the divorce proceedings will soon commence. ”

The following week, Toyin came to look for Ejiro at her office.

“Why are you being selfish? Why do you want to break up my home?” Toyin asked bitterly.

“Why are you being selfish? Why are you holding on to a man who doesn’t want to be with you?”

Ejiro did not know what to do. She believes Chris’ marriage is over and she knows he has made up his mind to divorce Toyin. Leaving him won’t make him stay with Toyin, who he believes used jazz on him. If she doesn’t marry Chris, he will likely go ahead to marry someone else.

Should Ejiro give up the love of her life because he is still married and people will say she married someone without considering his two children, or because of office gossip?

Please advise her.



18 thoughts on “What Do You Do When Your Soul Mate Is…?

  1. Ejiro, considering divorce is not a divorce and u certainly can’t start ur home by helping someone drown his. Whether he is lying or not, leave him and move on let God lead u to urs.


    • First Ejiro must ascertain whether Chris is speaking the truth or not.
      If he has been lying dump him because the foundation of the relationship can not trive on lies.
      If his story is credible then she should slow down until he finalizes his divorce.
      Chris needs all the moral support she can give him during this period of his life


  2. Ejiro receive sense and leave Chris alone. He is playing you. Girls no Dey ever learn.As for the Chris, he is an example a the ‘stereotyped’ typical selfish average Nigerian man.


  3. To start with, any relationship built by deciet can get anywhere. Chris is a liar, he should have come out straight from the start. He his definitely not the man for Ejiro..


  4. Ejiro, dont b carried away with his wealth…u dont know how chris and toyin started so dont b der wen they bring their relationship to an end. please pray let God lead your heart d right parth…i was a victim too but now a free and happy.


  5. Ejiro should not forget that the brain is also an app, she should put it to use. Chris is bad news. Return the car to chris and move on and avoid more drama and ache.


  6. I think Ejiro should run as far as her legs can carry her. Chris is a liar from day 1 and the fact that he can lie about the marriage for so long means he doesn’t fear God nor respect/love her truly. As for the car, i don’t think she should return sha. She can sell it and use the money for somwthing else. He should pay for his deceit.


  7. Hmmmmm……….. I think I Wld stand with Vincent brume sankey’s comment, No mother would throw a baby and the duty water away, All the ladies here are jus criticizing Nigerian men, it’s not true, Nigerian women even do worst, I don’t want to go into that, beside there is nothing like a perfect man or lady, they both have to meet each other half way no matter their history or mistakes, so my dear Ejiro, Biko keep the car because you has worked for it, if he really likes you, he would put his house in order and come begging (if he is wise), but there are still decent men like me out there sha………..


  8. My opinion is, that she can marry him if it doesn’t clash with her faith.

    I couldn’t marry a man whose wife isn’t dead though. There would always be drama, and I would always be obsessing about what God thinks on the matter.

    I would marry the man I love in a flash but I am not my own, I would rather go with the instruction of the Holy Ghost per time however painful it might be. Not my own, like I said.

    It would have to be a NO.


  9. God help you Ejiro. It’s not easy especially when you’re desperate to settle down. But God’s plan for you is to give you a future and a hope. It’s accompanied with peace. This does not look like the will of God for you. Pray and He’ll make out a better way for you.


  10. Like someone said earlier ‘Ejiro receive sense and run’. A relationship built on lies cannot stand. If he loves you he wouldn’t be lying to you until he gets caught. So my sister, put this guy behind you and move on into the more wonderful things God has for you.


  11. Babes are usually too blind to see the truth. The guys to just using her to ease the tension in his marriage. Girls must learn to be satisfied with or without a man.


  12. Nice story. Ejiro you know what to do now, incase you don’t, please this guy is using the best lines men use to have single girls in their lives despite being married. Even if it were to be genuine, he’s not a truthful person. Why should he start with lies? Please my dear it won’t be easy I know but it won’t be right either. You deserve a good looking single and godly guy to call yours 100%. Just be a little patient dear.shalom.


  13. Ejiro should forget office gossip and the rest and let Chris of her life. Her own love is somewhere patiently waiting for her to let go of Chris before showing up. Chris is a time waster.


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