Should Vivien Make a Move?

 

Vivien, a 24-year-old graduate of accounting, had been scheduled for an interview with a reputable audit firm, and she arrived early and prepared. When it was her turn, she entered the boardroom for the interview and was introduced to a panel of three men and one woman.

She couldn’t help taking special notice of the man introduced as Mr. Tare. She judged him to be in his late thirties, and he was so good looking she had to force herself to take her eyes off him. You’re here for an interview, she reminded herself. She did her best, and prayed that she would get the job.

A few days later, she got a call asking her to resume immediately. She was excited to have gotten the job! When she resumed, she discovered that she was not working directly with Mr. Tare. However, her office was two rooms away from his. As she settled in, she got to know that he was one of the partners who owned the company. He had schooled in the US, after which he came back home with some friends to establish the company in Nigeria.

Since the day Vivien saw Tare, she had not stopped thinking about him. He was definitely her kind of man; the way he carried himself, the way he dressed, and his diction, all just made Vivien lose control.

It’s been 3 months since Vivien started work at the firm, and she doesn’t know what to do about her feelings. Tare is not married, and she couldn’t tell if he was in a relationship or not. No female friend had ever come to visit him at the office; he was all business during office hours. Vivien had asked a few people in the office about him, but now she had to stop before people started suspecting her.

Whenever she saw him she tried to greet him warmly, hoping to be able to flirt a little, but Tare was always so formal with her. She had even tried to position herself near the company gate after work so that he could give her a ride, but he just drove past.

Vivien is crazy in love with Tare. She is not sure if he can love a lady like her, but how will she know for sure, unless she makes a move and tells him how she feels? Many women had found lasting love by making the first move, just as many had missed out simply because they were waiting for the guy to make a move first.

Should she tell him how she feels? If yes, how should she go about it? Please help her with practical tips, her efforts so far have not yielded results.

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When Is It Time To Let Go?

broken-ring

Kayode was in his mid-40s when he met 26-year-old Lara. He was unmarried, and had been turned down by 3 women in the last two years. He was now desperate to marry because 50 was not far away.

Lara was an easygoing girl and although liked and respected Kayode, she felt the age difference between them was much. She also didn’t approve of his drinking and the late nights he kept.

Kayode started putting pressure on Lara to marry him. She said no, but he started crying, begging her, so Lara asked him to give her some time to think about his proposal.

Lara took the issue to her aunt for counsel, and her aunt told her that Kayode truly loved her, so she should not turn him down “just” because of drinking.

Kayode and Lara eventually got married, and she had two sons in quick succession. By the 4th year of their marriage, Kayode’s behaviour had deteriorated. He came home past midnight, and drank heavily. When Lara complained, he often answered her with a slap.

She once tried to talk to him about his behaviour in one of his sober moments, and was saddened by his response.

“Are you not happy that I come home at all? Some of my friends do not even sleep at home!”

Shortly after that he sat her down and told her he wanted out of the marriage. He said he had married her out of desperation because of his age; he was not patient enough to wait for his true love. Now, he had found her, and he could not let her go. He promised to settle Lara with some money, and told her he had already called his people to inform them.

Lara could not understand what was going on. She confided in her friend Tola who told her it was all the work of the devil and urged her to fight for her marriage. Tola took Lara to see her pastor’s wife, after which Tola and Lara started holding night vigils, fasting and praying for the restoration of Lara’s marriage. At this stage, Kayode now came home only on weekends.

Kayode’s family and friends were totally against him on the divorce issue, and many of them tried to intervene, but Kayode refused to listen. He told them he should never have married Lara in the first place; she was not even a graduate and as such was below his standard.

Lara is praying day and night for God to restore her marriage, while Kayode’s only desire is to be left alone to marry the one he loves.

What should Lara do? Should she keep praying and fighting for her marriage, or should she let go?

Please advise her.