Should Vivien Make a Move?


Vivien, a 24-year-old graduate of accounting, had been scheduled for an interview with a reputable audit firm, and she arrived early and prepared. When it was her turn, she entered the boardroom for the interview and was introduced to a panel of three men and one woman.

She couldn’t help taking special notice of the man introduced as Mr. Tare. She judged him to be in his late thirties, and he was so good looking she had to force herself to take her eyes off him. You’re here for an interview, she reminded herself. She did her best, and prayed that she would get the job.

A few days later, she got a call asking her to resume immediately. She was excited to have gotten the job! When she resumed, she discovered that she was not working directly with Mr. Tare. However, her office was two rooms away from his. As she settled in, she got to know that he was one of the partners who owned the company. He had schooled in the US, after which he came back home with some friends to establish the company in Nigeria.

Since the day Vivien saw Tare, she had not stopped thinking about him. He was definitely her kind of man; the way he carried himself, the way he dressed, and his diction, all just made Vivien lose control.

It’s been 3 months since Vivien started work at the firm, and she doesn’t know what to do about her feelings. Tare is not married, and she couldn’t tell if he was in a relationship or not. No female friend had ever come to visit him at the office; he was all business during office hours. Vivien had asked a few people in the office about him, but now she had to stop before people started suspecting her.

Whenever she saw him she tried to greet him warmly, hoping to be able to flirt a little, but Tare was always so formal with her. She had even tried to position herself near the company gate after work so that he could give her a ride, but he just drove past.

Vivien is crazy in love with Tare. She is not sure if he can love a lady like her, but how will she know for sure, unless she makes a move and tells him how she feels? Many women had found lasting love by making the first move, just as many had missed out simply because they were waiting for the guy to make a move first.

Should she tell him how she feels? If yes, how should she go about it? Please help her with practical tips, her efforts so far have not yielded results.


11 thoughts on “Should Vivien Make a Move?

  1. I believe in men doing the chasing.
    She has made enough moves, I believe.
    If she loves her job, she should stop making moves
    If he makes a move on her, she won’t be able to continue working in that company because you can’t have it both ways.


  2. Basically, I think what she really needs is to have a chance to get him to consider if she’s someone he could perhaps be interested in. The fact that he has made no moves yet despite her making it easy for him kind of suggests that she hasn’t caught his attention, at least not physically. She should probably find out where he lives and then approach him and ask for a ride whether or not she’s going in that direction. The long ride (hopefully through traffic) will provide a natural opportunity for some conversation that could potentially reveal common interests, opinions or hobbies, and ultimately birth some attraction.


  3. That voice telling u to make d 1st move is d same one that will laugh at you when it backfires and u end up in d job market.
    Abort! I repeat mission abort!
    Pls face ya work
    If he comes after u…fine


  4. When a woman makes a move it doesn’t always go well…..truth is as somehow as it sounds its not in a woman’s place to do so especially with the orientation of Nigerian men and our culture too. She should pray about her feelings and ask God to make his will known and trust God. I remember after making moves on me for about 6years the very period my (now husband) decided to let me be was when I had taken him to God in prayer and God opened my eyes to see he was what I had been looking for. I was the one that now started making move (checking on him and a little more attention) at this point nt he was upset cos I was rude to him but I ignored his attempts to ignore me cos now God had clarified things to me and today we are happily married with kids and I am more grateful today I made the last move cos he ended up being morethan i even wanted, PerFeCt! BUT RECALL he made the first and 100 moves for 6years. Please Vivien don’t sell yourself cheap. AND FOCUS on your new job PLEASE!


  5. I choose to think differently. I’m one who believes in being expressive and trust me, men love that about ladies.

    If I were Vivien, I would walk to him and tell him ‘Sir, my apologies as this may sound weird. But I’d rather lift it up my chest and face the consequences. I like you a lot & I just needed you to know. Now I feel better….I need go back to work now. My apologies once again’. Thanks!!

    Does it hurt? Oh No it doesn’t. Times have changed mbok.


  6. I think she is rather desperate, she should take it slowly. She should watch things and see what happens. I don’t think she should make the first move…. Girllllllll face your work lol😜


  7. I am really young sha so maybe I do not understand. I do not understand how to love someone I dunno kpatakpata. This TELEMUNDO love. Ma’am, I think you should chill first. What if he is a woman beater? Is he a christian? Is he a serial killer? You just see fine boy and body is our body is sweeting us. Too much of love films faa. Lol, before we even think of anything that looks like it is going to resemble something that mirrors love please let’s first know the person. I am sure you are NOT in love with him… at least not in the way the bible describes love. Love is not blind. You should at least look beyond the obvious before thinking too far.
    See ma’am, a time wee come when these butterflies in your tummy wee stop singing. Maybe 3 years after marriage. Then all that is left wee be the things you didn’t take time to look into now, you might not like what you see then.
    Really you should just chill sha, maybe he has two wives in obodo oyibo. Lol.
    You should pray about those feelings tho. Tell God as it is doing you. The holyspirit wee tell you what’s up and what you should be really thinking of.
    Thank you


  8. Vivien should just focus on the job.. Crushes expire and I believe that is what it is.. However, she should become excellent at her job, always be exemplary, disciplined and decent.. if it is meant to be, the opportunity will come where she can get him to notice her feelings but she shouldn’t force it.. as others have mentioned, the repercussion could be nasty.


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