The Believer’s Sexuality 1: I Want to Do It and Ask For Forgiveness


Fola is a single woman in her late 30s. She ended her relationship last year because it was not working, so right now marriage is not in sight for her. She has also been dealing with loneliness, as people in the area where she lives tend to keep to themselves.

Out of the four flats in her building, only one is inhabited by a married couple. The other residents are not married. Her next door neighbor is not particularly her type of man but when she sees him shirtless or in boxers, her system goes crazy. She has noticed that his “thing” is big and she wouldn’t mind having a feel of it.

Fola gave her life to Christ 3 years ago and she has been trying to live a holy Christian life, but lately it has been more difficult because the hormones won’t let her be.

Fola knows that if she seduces Frank he will fall for her, so she is tempted to use him just for pleasure, but she is also wondering, for how long will she continue to sleep with Frank for satisfaction?

Her biggest dilemma is that she doesn’t want to sin against God, but her body is burning. She spoke to her friend Clara about it and Clara told her to get a sex toy and even hooked her up with a seller. All these single brothers and sisters in church, how dem dey do am, she wondered. Or na pretend everybody dey pretend?

Fola wants to seduce Frank and later ask God for forgiveness, since there is grace, because she does not know how else to “hold body”.

Should she get the sex toy as Clara advised? Please share tips on what she can do about her raging hormones.

Kindly advise Fola.


8 thoughts on “The Believer’s Sexuality 1: I Want to Do It and Ask For Forgiveness

  1. Very simple
    Ask God how to hold bodi!
    How did Joseph manage? How did he resist d eye candy that was Potiphar’s wife? There is a way and it is easy
    Just like when people who are good at Math explain it. You begin to wonder why you could not figure it out before


  2. Common fola, you have set your mind on sex and thatz the reason your flesh longs for it. Set your mind on a career or occupy yourself with things that would build your inner man. Remember God has given us all things for godliness. You only need to launch deeper.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Where is it written in the Bible that sex toys are not good (some may say), but remember that at every appearance of sin we must flee as believers… getting a sex toy has a very high potential of leading her to an addiction she will later battle with as she grows deeper in her faith or on the other hand, may lead her to eventually going to meet with her male Neighbour ( since she led her hormones on). And the whole purpose is defeated.


  4. Hmmm.
    Flee all appearance of evil
    This also works.
    Holiness is also a gift that can’t be bought in the market. There is a blessing that comes from doing the word of God.
    If only she knew the things she would lose from leaving the Lord and obeying her flesh to sleep with that man, she would run away everyday.

    Also I guarantee that if she takes that wrong road, she might even get the man but would live lower than God’s perfect will for her, for the rest of her life.

    Get an accountability partner who won’t judge you
    Get a prayer life: when you have one, you are more concerned about pleasing the Lord.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This circumstance is every where today except for those born to suffer.
    However, the sex toys angle is not an option and she should not even think about it. It is addictive and dangerous and can destroy future relationships.
    She should learn again to develop a relationship with a nice guy she enjoys his company. Some body she can relax with and who can make her laugh.


  6. A few salient points:
    He is not really her kind of man.
    She gets turned on when she sees him shirtless.
    She is basically lonely.
    She is at a point in her life/biological cycle when her hormones are on overdrive.

    All these points tend to suggest that it’s a situation of transient lust and/or infatuation and getting intimate with this guy is simply not likely to end well. Ironically, the proximity of him being a neighbour adds to the excitement and appeal but is also a huge potential problem when it’s all over and desire has been satisfied.
    On the other hand, a toy though useful, can be a cause of real problems with her partner in the future, when she will have to deal with the real ‘thing’, as there is the risk of impatience and frustration if/when her partner is not able to achieve the same results and as quickly as the toy.


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