Does Jerry Deserve a Second Chance?

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Mr. Fred Adams was introduced to Jerry by his wife’s friend who is Jerry’s cousin. Jerry holds an HND from a Nigerian polytechnic and he was desperately looking for a job. Mr. Adams, who just retired from a multinational oil company, was setting up his consulting firm. When his wife’s friend Iyabo begged him to employ Jerry as he was becoming a burden to her, Mr. Adams said he had no vacancy for someone with his qualifications. However, he needed a driver, so Jerry decided to take up the job.

Two months after he employed Jerry, Mr. Adams discovered that Jerry was lazy, proud, arrogant, rude and selfish. He complained to his wife and said he was going to terminate Jerry’s appointment, but his wife pleaded with him and prevailed on him to give Jerry a chance.

The following week, Mr. Adams was travelling by road for a presentation and Jerry was driving him. They were on the express when suddenly Jerry parked the car on the road side and started insulting him.

“You foolish old man! You are wicked, always acting as if you are God! You won’t pay salary at month end, with your rude children and your madam chairlady! You will drive yourself for the rest of the journey!”

With that, Jerry got down, took a bus and left his boss there. Mr. Adams, who was in his late fifties, had not been feeling well lately, so he could not drive the long distance. He had to call his wife’s younger brother, who drove all the way down to meet him and continue the journey. The presentation had to be rescheduled.

Two years later, Mr. Adams’ company was contracted by his former employers to recruit four Nigerians to work in their US office. The vacancy was published in a leading newspaper and thousands of people applied. After the aptitude test and shortlisting, the best ten were called for interview by a panel headed by Mr. Fred Adams. Our dear Jerry was one of the ten.

Jerry walked into the room and started trembling when he saw Mr. Adams. He began to roll on the floor before Mr. Fred, begging him to forgive him and not let his past actions affect his chances of getting the job; according to him, he is now a changed person.

Should Mr. Adams forgive him and help him get the job?

Mr. Adams was given the mandate to recruit people with excellent qualifications and good character. Would it be right of him to recruit Jerry given what he knows about his character?

This is an opportunity of a lifetime for Jerry. Should he be given a second chance?

How would you advise Mr. Fred Adams?

Should Vivien Make a Move?

 

Vivien, a 24-year-old graduate of accounting, had been scheduled for an interview with a reputable audit firm, and she arrived early and prepared. When it was her turn, she entered the boardroom for the interview and was introduced to a panel of three men and one woman.

She couldn’t help taking special notice of the man introduced as Mr. Tare. She judged him to be in his late thirties, and he was so good looking she had to force herself to take her eyes off him. You’re here for an interview, she reminded herself. She did her best, and prayed that she would get the job.

A few days later, she got a call asking her to resume immediately. She was excited to have gotten the job! When she resumed, she discovered that she was not working directly with Mr. Tare. However, her office was two rooms away from his. As she settled in, she got to know that he was one of the partners who owned the company. He had schooled in the US, after which he came back home with some friends to establish the company in Nigeria.

Since the day Vivien saw Tare, she had not stopped thinking about him. He was definitely her kind of man; the way he carried himself, the way he dressed, and his diction, all just made Vivien lose control.

It’s been 3 months since Vivien started work at the firm, and she doesn’t know what to do about her feelings. Tare is not married, and she couldn’t tell if he was in a relationship or not. No female friend had ever come to visit him at the office; he was all business during office hours. Vivien had asked a few people in the office about him, but now she had to stop before people started suspecting her.

Whenever she saw him she tried to greet him warmly, hoping to be able to flirt a little, but Tare was always so formal with her. She had even tried to position herself near the company gate after work so that he could give her a ride, but he just drove past.

Vivien is crazy in love with Tare. She is not sure if he can love a lady like her, but how will she know for sure, unless she makes a move and tells him how she feels? Many women had found lasting love by making the first move, just as many had missed out simply because they were waiting for the guy to make a move first.

Should she tell him how she feels? If yes, how should she go about it? Please help her with practical tips, her efforts so far have not yielded results.

When Is It Time To Let Go?

broken-ring

Kayode was in his mid-40s when he met 26-year-old Lara. He was unmarried, and had been turned down by 3 women in the last two years. He was now desperate to marry because 50 was not far away.

Lara was an easygoing girl and although liked and respected Kayode, she felt the age difference between them was much. She also didn’t approve of his drinking and the late nights he kept.

Kayode started putting pressure on Lara to marry him. She said no, but he started crying, begging her, so Lara asked him to give her some time to think about his proposal.

Lara took the issue to her aunt for counsel, and her aunt told her that Kayode truly loved her, so she should not turn him down “just” because of drinking.

Kayode and Lara eventually got married, and she had two sons in quick succession. By the 4th year of their marriage, Kayode’s behaviour had deteriorated. He came home past midnight, and drank heavily. When Lara complained, he often answered her with a slap.

She once tried to talk to him about his behaviour in one of his sober moments, and was saddened by his response.

“Are you not happy that I come home at all? Some of my friends do not even sleep at home!”

Shortly after that he sat her down and told her he wanted out of the marriage. He said he had married her out of desperation because of his age; he was not patient enough to wait for his true love. Now, he had found her, and he could not let her go. He promised to settle Lara with some money, and told her he had already called his people to inform them.

Lara could not understand what was going on. She confided in her friend Tola who told her it was all the work of the devil and urged her to fight for her marriage. Tola took Lara to see her pastor’s wife, after which Tola and Lara started holding night vigils, fasting and praying for the restoration of Lara’s marriage. At this stage, Kayode now came home only on weekends.

Kayode’s family and friends were totally against him on the divorce issue, and many of them tried to intervene, but Kayode refused to listen. He told them he should never have married Lara in the first place; she was not even a graduate and as such was below his standard.

Lara is praying day and night for God to restore her marriage, while Kayode’s only desire is to be left alone to marry the one he loves.

What should Lara do? Should she keep praying and fighting for her marriage, or should she let go?

Please advise her.

What Do You Do When Your Soul Mate Is…?

Soulmate

Ejiro was among the first to get on board the Dana Air flight going from Abuja to Lagos. She had attended a high school friend’s wedding in Abuja and was now on her way back to Lagos.

She was seated comfortably when she noticed a good-looking guy in a white shirt and black trousers approaching her seat. He noticed she was staring, so she quickly averted her eyes. As he sat next to her and introduced himself as Chris, she could not but notice his baritone and his face; he was definitely her kind of guy. Ejiro quickly did the ring check and thanked God he wasn’t married. He could be the one, she thought, so she decided to respond in a friendly manner, and drop a few signals of interest. The two could not stop talking until they arrived in Lagos. Neither of them could deny the strong chemistry they shared.

It was Monday morning and Ejiro was going straight to the office from the airport, so they took the same cab and he dropped her off at the branch of the bank where she worked after they exchanged numbers. At about 6pm, he gave her a call and said he was standing in front of her office. He took her out on their very first date, and she was pleased and impressed to find that he earned a very good income, and he was well travelled.

They went on date after date, and he shared his heart with her. He told her that he had never felt this way about any woman, and that he could not imagine living without her. He laughed when he saw her 2007 Toyota Corolla, and called it an embarrassment. On her birthday, he showed up at her office and gave her the keys to a brand new Hyundai(IX35) 2015. The entire bank went bunkers, and a close colleague drew her close and whispered, “This one is for keeps!”

Chris and Ejiro were madly in love. The only thing that bothered Ejiro was that Chris did not have a decent home despite earning a good income. When she mentioned it, he said it was because he was a bachelor. One day, she realised that her number on his phone was saved as Mr. Ejiro Sandals. When she assked him about it, he deleted the number and did not save it with any name.

One Saturday evening, Chris and Ejiro were at a supermarket and he ran into a friend.

“Chris! How are Toyin and the kids?” the friend asked.

“They’re fine,” Chris replied.

When they got into the car, Ejiro asked who Toyin was.

“Toyin is my sister,” Chris said, forgetting that he had told her his life history.

“That’s a lie!” Ejiro said. “You are from Benue State, so how can your sister be Toyin?”

Chris would not tell Ejiro the truth despite her incessant probing, so she decided to search on social media. She entered Chris’s surname together with “Toyin.” Behold, Chris was married to Toyin and they had two kids. Ejiro felt as if she would die. This is a man who professed undying love for me! How could he?

When confronted, Chris went down on his knees weeping profusely.

“The marriage is over; it ended a long time ago. I don’t love her,” he said between sobs. “I was not in my right mind when I married her, she used jazz on me.”

“Are you legally divorced?”Ejiro asked.

“No, but I hardly sleep in that house,” Chris said, tears still running down his face. “She has refused to let go all these years, otherwise we would have gotten the divorce long ago. The last time we had sex was 4 years ago. I’m talking to my lawyer; the divorce proceedings will soon commence. ”

The following week, Toyin came to look for Ejiro at her office.

“Why are you being selfish? Why do you want to break up my home?” Toyin asked bitterly.

“Why are you being selfish? Why are you holding on to a man who doesn’t want to be with you?”

Ejiro did not know what to do. She believes Chris’ marriage is over and she knows he has made up his mind to divorce Toyin. Leaving him won’t make him stay with Toyin, who he believes used jazz on him. If she doesn’t marry Chris, he will likely go ahead to marry someone else.

Should Ejiro give up the love of her life because he is still married and people will say she married someone without considering his two children, or because of office gossip?

Please advise her.

 

A Promiscuous Good Girl

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Mrs. Oby Aduradu is a 64-year-old widow who lives in Asaba. Her 3 sons are all grown up and work in Lagos. She has become a lonely woman since the death of her husband some years ago, and her boys have refused to marry and give her grandchildren, each claiming he has not found the right woman yet.

Ngozi, a pretty corps member (NYSC)* posted to Asaba lived close to Mrs. Aduradu, and she never failed to greet her every morning on her way to work. Ngozi always asked if the older woman had eaten and taken her medication. After work, she would stop by to help her clean her house, and then she would take her clothes to her house, wash them and iron them. Ngozi didn’t know Mrs. Aduradu from Adam; she was just being her usual loving and caring self. She would even cook for the woman, who had to confess that the young lady was a very good cook! She commented several times on the fact that she was well brought up and traditional.

Mrs. Aduradu was already eyeing her for one of her sons if they would be open to it — young men these days liked to make their own choices based on the things they wanted.

One Saturday evening Mrs. Aduradu, after taking her evening walk, collapsed outside. Ngozi was in her house at the time, and quickly took her to the hospital. She was by her bedside nursing her when her sons arrived.

Three of them took a liking to Ngozi, but the chemistry between her and the 2nd son Aka was very strong, and Mrs. Aduradu was excited to observe it, recovering almost immediately as a result. From that time, Aka visited home more often and each time he was around, he would spend long hours talking with Ngozi. Soon, they were unable to resist each other, and found themselves in bed. Shortly after that encounter, Aka returned to Lagos and 5 weeks later Ngozi called him to say she was pregnant. Mrs. Aduradu of course insisted that they get married immediately, because Ngozi had been good to her and she could not repay her with evil.

The wedding was arranged sharp sharp and Ngozi moved to Lagos with her husband. She was the perfect wife: good, respectful, kind, easy going. She was also very domesticated, and Aka could not fault her in bed. She was good all round. Aka noticed that she could be insecure around men and this usually resulted in her talking too much and giving them extra attention, which he worried may be misunderstood. Regardless, he was very much in love with his wife and considered her the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Aka’s world came crashing when, 4 months after Ngozi put to bed, she knelt before her him, confessing that he was not the father of the child, and begging for his forgiveness. Aka thought he would die. To make things worse, Ngozi said the child’s father wanted to claim his son. Desperate, Aka requested a DNA test. The results showed that Aka was not the father of the child, but in a surprising twist, the child did not belong to the man trying to claim him either!

It soon became clear that Ngozi did not know the father of her child, and the matter became even more serious. She called 3 other men who could be responsible, to take the test, and Aka discovered that Ngozi could sleep with a man out of gratitude, out of a desire to be liked, or even to keep him from getting angry with her.

It’s all too much for Aka to take in, and he wants to divorce her. However, Ngozi is a wonderful, loving person and a part of him wants to help her. Aka has several questions in his mind:

  1. Can she be helped?
  2. Should he stay with his loving wife who is so promiscuous that she could sleep with anybody who said hello to her? A wife he cannot leave at home to go on a work trip without fear?
  3. As far as he knows, she has not been unfaithful to him since they married. Nobody has said they slept with her as his wife, but if they had would they tell him?
  4. Could it be that she has stopped or will stop sleeping around now that she has a man to call her own?

What should Aka do now? Please advise him.

 

 

*NYSC is the National Youth Service Corps, a mandatory one-year programme for all Nigerian graduates to serve the nation.

Who Are You Following?

Follow the Leader

One day, my husband and I were going home in terrible traffic. We knew there was a shortcut around that place but we did not know the way. However, when we noticed people diverting from the main road, we figured that they were taking the shortcut so we decided to follow them.

There was a man in a black jeep in front of us, who seemed to know the way, so we followed him closely, happy to cut off the slow-moving traffic. When he turned right, we turned right, and when he turned left, we turned left.

We continued to follow the jeep until it turned and stopped at the gate of a big blue house and we heard the horn. That was when we realised he had been going to his house and we were following him thinking he was by-passing traffic to return to the main road.

The moral of the story: if you are following any leader, make sure they are going in the direction you are headed. You need to know where you are going so that if your leader is not going your way, you can make a U-turn as we did, and get back on the path that will lead you to your destination.